i wish that some people were horrible. i wish you were bad and could be blamed. i wish for a pulsating fiend to brutalize with no guilt. i wish for an evil lout, honest and sincere in their malignancy. i would thank them for the unquestionable target as i tore out their throat. thank you!, i would whisper as i crushed their body with stones. thank you for deserving my selfish rage, for being hateful! thank you for your consciously chosen spite! you see: in the course of small events, knives and bile build up in my gut, and i need nothing so much as to puke them into someone's eyes, but everyone is only doing the best they can. there's no just punishment for doing the best you can, chivalry keeps my mouth sealed, nothing escapes - and at night my gut churns.